Strings of Life
by Hitsutake
Summary: "…this war," he breathes breathlessly, "is all my fault." His hands clutch the kunai pointed at his chest tighter. "Wait! Yamato!" I scream at him, but my words don't reach him. No one's do.
1. Chapter 1

"…this war," he breathes breathlessly, "is all my fault." His hands clutch the kunai pointed at his chest tighter.

"Wait! Yamato!" I scream at him, but my words don't reach him. No one's do.

"Why do I exist?" He looks up at me.

"Why was I created?" He draws the kunai in closer.

"Was it for this? For _all this_?" He starts to tear up, "Look what's happened because of me!" He gestures all around him. All around us. "…and if I'm still alive it could all just happen again," he says, the last two words leaving his lips as if they were kunai themselves. Cutting whatever restraint he had left.

"Senpai," he smiles up at me, "we had the best of times didn't we?"

I can see the look in his eyes. The daunted, disheartened look in his eyes. These are the eyes of a defeated man. A broken man. One who has completely given up. And if I don't do something quick, his death will be on me.

"Hey now. We still do," I try to fake a smile back at him. If my words could somehow just get through to him… "and there's still so much more ahead of us," I stretch out my hand desperately trying to reach him, but then it falls as I drop my head. I can do nothing but stare at the ground. How many times had I sworn on my life that I would protect him? How many times?! And now look where we're standing. A battlefield with nothing but fallen shinobi strewn all around us. How fitting.

"Senpai…," he whispers. Barely audible.

I snap my head back up and stare into his eyes. They're nothing but black holes now. His eyes used to have such life to them. Such beauty. And now…

"Senpai." He says with gumption now.

"Yamato," I say acknowledgingly. He was still holding the kunai to his chest.

"Why do I exist?"

I press my fingers to the temples of my forehead. Why do you have to ask me such questions? Always with the questions. Ever since you were young. There are some things I'm just not ready to explain to you Tenzou, especially not here. Not now. The timing isn't right!

I lower my hands back down to my sides. I only have one chance at saving him. "Because my Kohai…" I say as I start to walk slowly towards him, and it puts him obviously on edge.

"I need you."

"What?! What did he say? Can anyone hear him?" Naruto yells from the distance.

"No, Naruto we can't hear anything either," Hinata whispers.

"Wha- what did you say, Sen… pai?" Tenzou asks unsure if his ears just stopped working.

I've closed the distance between us now. I place my hands on top of his holding the kunai. "I said," I don't breathe, "because I need you."

His eyes grow wide, and it's as if I can almost see color return to them. Almost.

"That's why you exist, Tenzou. That's why you were created. And that's why I can't let you do this," I say as I take the kunai from his lifeless hands. He doesn't even try to fight me.

"Yo- you… need… me?" he asks clearly not listening to a thing I'm saying to him now.

"Tenzou, I know I've vowed countless times to protect you. And I know countless times I've let you down. Just look at where we're standing. I know I won't ever be able to make what happened to you ok…," I trail off, lost in my own reverie.

_Obito, Rin, Minato-Sensei, Father. I couldn't protect you. I failed all of you. But I know that I can protect _him. _Because this time I won't fail. _

"Oi, Sensei! Is he okay?" Naruto snaps me back into reality.

I glance over my shoulder at my pupil, the genin who has just saved the entire world, and I chuckle. Minato-Sensei, how proud you must be.

"Yea, Naruto! He's more than okay," I say as I look back into Tenzou's eyes, "you're more than okay."

I sweep him up into my arms and begin the trek back over to where the others are standing. "Senpai…"

I glance down at the man in my arms. "Hmm?"

"I'm so sorry." Was all he said before there was no life left in his fragile body.

"Oi! Tenzou! Wake up!" I shake him violently. This is no time to be playing games.

"Sakura! Get over here now!"

You don't get to die on me. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not any day. "Do you hear me, Tenzou?! You don't get to die!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes: **Alrighty,_ hello everyone! It's been a while since I've uploaded something. I thought i'd start on something new! So let me know what you think! I'll be uploading new chapters as soon as I write them, but i'll be moving into a new apt. soon so just bear with me._

* * *

_Week one: "Kakashi! Quit moping around the hospital! Tenzou will be ready to leave when I say so!" Tsunade-sama shouts at me from down the hall. _

_Week two: "Kakashi! What did I tell you last week? Now get out of here before I throw you out myself!" Tsunade-sama shouts at me from down the hall. _

_Week three: "KAKASHI! I better not see your face in here again or you'll be getting a bed next to him in the ICU!" Tsunade-sama shouts at me from down the hall._

Week four…

I begin my journey towards the hospital. Tenzou has been there for nearly a month now and there hasn't really been much progress. Or at least that I'm aware of. Lady Tsunade screams at me every time I try to set foot near his room. I don't sleep. I barely eat. And forget going on missions. I can tell Naruto and Sakura are worried about me, and I know they're worried about Tenzou as well.

As I near the hospital I spot Naruto standing out front looking more perturbed than usual. "Ahh, Kakashi-sensei!" He waves at me.

"Hello Naruto. What brings you to the hospital today?" I put my hands in my pockets trying to hide the trembling that hasn't stopped since that day.

"I keep trying to visit Yamato-taicho but Granny Tsunade won't let me anywhere near him!" Naruto says, obviously pouting. He kicks a nearby rock.

I chuckle. I understand exactly how you feel Naruto. "I was actually just on my way to see him. Why don't I tell him you stopped by, and you can try again tomorrow?" I smile softly.

"Really?! Thanks Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto beams.

"Of course."

"See you guys tomorrow then!" Naruto yells as he runs out of sight.

I sigh. Now if only _I _could get to see him.

I walk up to the fourth floor, down the second corridor, past the nurses' station, and stop at the third door on the left. I look around. No Tsunade. I breathe a sigh of relief. Finally, after nearly a month I'll be able to see him. I go to turn the knob, but it's locked. You've got to be kidding me. Tsunade is losing it if she thinks this is going to deter me.

I focus a little bit of chakra into my pointer finger and press on the lock. It clicks open. Success!

"Kakashi!"

Shit. Caught again.

Lady Tsunade comes charging at me from down the hallway. I can only assume it's to beat my ass this time. I brace for impact.

"Kakashi," she smiles at me, "I'm glad you're here. He's been asking for you."

I look up at her completely astounded. She giggles.

"Well don't just stand there lolly-gagging around! Come on!" she shouts as she starts to walk back down the hall.

I pick my chin up off the ground and follow after her.

"Umm, Tsunade-sama?"

"What is it, Kakashi?"

"Did you move him to another room?"

"Well of course we did. He's not in the ICU anymore," she beams back at me.

I can't help but smile. I knew he'd make it. We go back down to the main floor, down a few hallways, until we are finally at his door. I just stand there looking at it, and Tsunade grows inpatient.

"Well go on then, Kakashi. You've been begging to see him for nearly a month now," she ushers me closer to the door.

I look back at her. She gives me one reasurring nod before disappearing down the hallway towards some kind of incident. I take one big breath, turn the knob, and step inside.

The room is completely white, as expected. And they wonder why people go crazy. A little splash of color wouldn't hurt anybody. And just look at those! Tenzou doesn't even like those. I'm going to get rid of them imm-

Chuckling. All I can hear is chuckling. I'm so lost in my own thoughts that I don't even notice the silhouette of the man behind the curtain. I walk over to it and pull it back. Almond eyes stare back at me. Sometimes I wonder if he can hear my thoughts...

"Long time no see, eh Senpai?" the brown haired man smiles.

What are words? How do you make them come out? I keep trying, but I think my tongue stopped working.

He starts to chuckle again. "Senpai? Cat got your tongue?"

Oh that does it. I walk over to the side of his bed. His almond eyes searching mine for answers. I sit down next to him. I reach out and put my hands on both sides of his face. I just stare into his eyes. There's no more darkness in them. Only hope now.

"…Senpai?" he asks shakily.

"I ought to teach you a thing or two about respect, Kohai," I say as I press my lips to his.

He pulls back, confused. Seraching my face for any indication that this is a joke.

"I- I don't understand."

And then that's when it hits me. I've absolutely no idea how he feels about me personally. And I just walked right up to this man and… oh my god. I jump up off the bed and start to back away. Tenzou reaches out a hand and pleads for me to wait, but it's too late. I am already out the door, out of the hospital, and halfway to my house by the time he realizes I'm gone.

What did I just do.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes:** I'm not too sure how I feel about this new chapter... so be sure to let me know if you like it or not!

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_"Senpai," Tenzou smiles, "I've been waiting for such a long time."_

_I scratch the back of my head embarrassed, "I know. Forgive me?"_

_He laughs, "Of course. Shall we go?" Tenzou holds out his hand._

_I reach out to grab it but my hand slips right through his. I keep trying and trying but nothing I do works. I can't grab his hand. _

_"Tenzou? Tenzou what's going on?" But he just continues to laugh._

_"Hey, Senpai, are you coming?" He says as he turns around and begins to walk away._

_"Wait! Tenzou! Where are you going?" I shout at him, but he doesn't seem to hear me. _

_"Tenzou!" I keep yelling for him, but he's walked out of sight now. I can still faintly hear his voice in the distance._

_"Aren't you coming?"_

...

"Senpai."

I jerk awake clutching the kunai I keep hidden under my pillow for emergencies. My eyes dart aroung the room. Darkness. I can't see anything. Was that my imagination just now? I go to sit back down on my bed when I hear someone chuckling from the corner of the room. I immediately throw the kunai in their direction, but it misses.

"Hey! Watch it! You could put an eye out!"

"Tenzou? Is that you?" I squint my eyes in an attempt to see, but it's no use.

"I think you're losing your touch, Senpai," he smirks as he walks into view.

I sigh as I sit back down. "Don't you know better than to sneak into an old man's house in the middle of the night?"

Tenzou crosses his arms and taps the bottom of his chin, "Now that you mention it… you are getting pretty old," he snickers.

He sits down on the bed in front of me and crosses his legs. The moonlight frames his face perfectly. I've never seen anything more stunning. I almost forget to breathe.

"Say, Senpai…"

"Hmm?"

"It sounded like you were having a bad dream," he looks away.

"Oh?"

"Can I ask what it was about?" He peers at me from the corners of his eyes.

I sit there silently for what seemed like a long time. We haven't so much as looked at each other since that day in the hospital, mostly because I've been avoiding him like the plague. But that aside… deciding to sneak into my room in the middle of the night and all he asks me about is my dream? I can't help but wonder how long he's been doing this… and I can feel the overwhelming pain in his voice.

"Tenzou."

"Yea?"

"How long have you been watching me sleep?"

Even in the moonlight I could tell he wanted to die. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Since the hospital, right?"

His eyes grow wide. Speechless.

"It's alright," I smile at him. I reach out to grab his hand, but I hesistate. He notices.

"Senpai?"

"My dream…" I begin, "was about you." I wait for some sort of sign of reassurance from him before continuing.

He swallows hard. "What happened?"

I stare down at his hand. "You reached out your hand to me, but I couldn't seem to grab it. Mine just kept going right throught yours no matter how hard I tried."

He looks up at me, confusion clear on his face. He knows I'll never admit to him what that all actually means, and honestly I'm not so sure I know myself.

His face is now beet red and turned to the wall as he holds out his hand in front of me, "How about now?"

I can't help but feel a little bit relieved. I smile as I place my hand in his, "Seems to be fine now."

I can feel his hand start to tremble under mine. I start to laugh. He snatches it back immediately.

"Senpai! That's not fair!" he shouts at me.

"What do you mean?" I smirk back at him.

"Ohhh!" He sighs and leans back on his arms.

I suddenly think back to the old times of when it was just the two of us out on missions together. How we used to laugh for hours...

_"Your jokes could use a bit of work, Senpai," Tenzou laughs._

_"I'll have you know my jokes are top notch," I say, completely full of myself._

_"Alright, well let's hear one then."_

_"What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?"_

_"I don't know, Senpai. What kind?" Tenzou placates__._

_"Sneakers," I grin._

_"Alright, alright, you win," Tenzou laughs, "that was a good one."_

...God, how I miss those days.

"Senpai," Tenzou says, noticing my glazed over expression.

"Hmm?"

"At the hospital…"

I wait for him to continue. Guilt weling up in my stomach.

"Can you…"

I stare at him quisically now, "What?"

"-you do that agai…"

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that?"

"I said could you do that again!" He shouts, blood red, as he jumps up and darts to the other side of the room.

I couldn't even contain myself a little bit. I've never laughed so hard in my life.

"What's so funny about that?!"

I make my way over to where he's standing and push him up against the wall. His eyes are wide… yearning. But I could tell he was internally debating whether or not to run out the door.

"What a silly thing to ask," I say as I tilt his chin up and brush my lips across his. He has no idea what he's getting himself into. I press mine completely to his now. And to my surprise, he twines his fingers in my hair and kisses me back. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined Tenzou would feel this good. Taste this good.

I pull back at look into his eyes. It is still night out, but the moonlight seems to be following him around my room. I'm not sure how much self-control I've got left at this point. I lean away from him and start to walk back towards my bed.

"You know, Tenzou, I think I should apologize for-" but as I turn around to face him, there's no one there. He's gone.

I stand there looking at the spot where he was standing for a while. How unusual for me to get upset over something like this.

"Touché." Is all I manage to say to myself before I climb back into bed and pray my dreams won't haunt me any more tonight. But who am I kidding.

Outside in the distance, on a rooftop not too far from there, almond eyes peer into Kakashi's window, taking every ounce of strength the brown-haired shinobi has not to go back.


End file.
